


Moya Dusha

by StainedGlassDreams



Series: Earth, Please Come In, Over [11]
Category: Black Widow (Comics), Captain America - All Media Types, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Dreams, F/M, Love, Natasha tries to remember, h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 15:50:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5381033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StainedGlassDreams/pseuds/StainedGlassDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha wakes up in the middle of the night, her memory trying to tell her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moya Dusha

"My soul."

She woke up. Her breaths hard against her throat.

The room was empty, nothing but the clock & Liho, pressing up against her leg. She mewed in quiet protest, before cocking her head at her scared owner.

She closed her eyes, cursing underneath her breath.

.....Another one...

She sat up, getting her notebook. Already filled with Cyrillic & English words; sentences. Memories that, to any other person, would be illegible nonsensical dreams.

This one though...

Liho tried to go back to sleep, comforting her by rubbing herself against Nat's leg.

Tonight's memory in the never-ending shadows of her dreams was different.  
She wrote down whatever clung to the edges of her knowledge, threatening to once again disappear into the void where she couldn't yet reach.

Liho settled into her sleeping position.

Whether out of fear, or just inability, was just as unclear as the pieces that were lost, Nat grasping.

The one sentence that stayed was one that gave her goosebumps.  
Not because of the sentence itself, the words in Cyrillic but the meaning transcending every, & all, languages.  
"Dusha moya."

Spoken in the privacy of a random hotel room, as he carressed her face, his palm gently cupping her cheek.

She wanted to get up, needing water but not wanting awaken Liho again.

She leaned into him as they kissed.  
The sentence, repeating as she woke up.

She gave up on the water, Liho going through enough tonight.  
The city lights playing on the ceiling, her mind projecting the dream on the blank, white canvas above her head.

She knew her ghost was consoling. The memories in the back of her head, indicating this every time. Selflessness.

His touches against her skin, always inviting. Waiting for her. Always.  
& other times, for nothing at all; his touch not an invitation for anything, except sincere gratitude. 'I'm so glad you're here.'  
'You make me human.'

"[My soul.]"

Nat kept herself calm, Thankful there was nothing in reach to throw.

All these moments, all these times; mixed up fragments of something like hundreds or a thousand puzzles thrown up in the air & mixed by a sloppy hand. Mysterious as a Nobokov novel.

The name made her head ache further, Arlington having that same instantaneous effect.

(Still, her gut screamed 'There, you almost have it, there-)

She looked to the clock. 5:30.  
Natasha sighed, putting the notebook gently away, Cyrillic blurrily showing against the clear top.

She wanted to throw something, not because of the memory, no.

Turned while keeping Liho's dib called calf, untouched.  
Closed her eyes.

But because she felt, whoever could say this to her; whomever said these words & meant it, the truth never secondguessed from her ghost's lips...

Whoever she could act a 'soul' to....  
She couldn't remember. & by not holding the memory, not feeling it as the meaning caressed her, just as the tips of his fingers had.... She couldn't pay her gratuity.  
She couldn't say Thank You.

Nat started to fall back to sleep.

Couldn't tell a star her love.

...Would forget that sentence in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Сoolness – Молодость моя  
> http://soundcloud.com/etalybovb/molodostmoya
> 
> Russian Translation: "Moya Dusha"- "My soul".
> 
> Thanks so much for reading, it's always greatly appreciated :')


End file.
